Of Course.....

I had to post a Christmas Vacation clip before the 25th....

I can't find the entire dinner table scene anywhere, but this ranks right up there...

Lame

Can the NFL be any more lame?

You're going to penalize a guy 15 yards for...

Making a snow angel?

Are you kidding me?

Where is the fun in this godforsaken league? Jesus....

A guy grabs his crotch (Fred Lane), takes out a sharpie (Terrell Owens), makes a mooning gesture (Randy Moss), yes.....Penalize them...

Not for a god damn snow angel.

It's Official...

In their very first season of the Coyne PR Fantasy Football League, Stiffler's Mom, led by GM extroadinaire Max DeFilippis, captured the coveted championship downing Crissy Lopez's "Dick Gazinya" squad, 92-61.

More on this glorious win, as well as details on the tickertape parade, in my 2008 recap coming soon.

Slow Walkers....

I hate'em...

Last Minute Gift Idea....

My friend Justin posted this image on our fantasty football site - and I couldn't resist.

If any of you need a last minute gift for a child, niece, nephew or even for yourself to post in your office (and most likely to get terminated immediately afterwards), here's an idea:

Bandwagoners....

I truly cannot help but laugh every time I log onto Facebook and read status updates about the New York Giants and their “fans” – oh yeah. Joey “is gonna watch the Giants kick ass today”. Martha “go big blue”. So on and so on.

Yet – I find it even more hysterical when a team starts shitting to bed like the Giants are, these supposed “fans” hide under a rock and don’t come out until something positive happens.

I’ve rooted for Dallas for 25 years. Always supported the team even thru the 88-89 campaigns when they went a combined 4-28.

These past two weeks I have not seen a Giants fan come out and say – Agnes is “hoping they can snap the funk”…..

And not once have I received congratulations for my team beating the defending champs – whereas I will be the first person to offer kudos to all Giants fan everythime they beat Dallas.

Have I mentioned how much I hate bandwagoners?

Pathetic….

Other thoughts on the Bald guy’s mind…

***Matt Cassell throws 4 TD passes just hours after his dad passes away – The NFL needs more people like Matt Cassell
***Saw an episode of Three’s Company this weekend….Norman Fell (Stanley Roper) is one of the most underrated comedic actors in sitcom history
***Did you know honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans?

To close:

I ATE EIGHTH FLOOR PINEAPPLE THIS MORNING – WHAT DID YOU EAT?
MENTOS – THE FRESH MAKER
I DON’T LOOK AS DUMB AS I AM
CTRL ALT DELETE

This And That....

- One week from tonight is the Coyne PR Christmas Party - and for the first time ever, a talent show will rock the Hyatt in Morristown. This basically involveS Coyne staffers getting up in front of the entire company and showcasing any hidden talents they may have.

I am officially on board. One thing about us publicists. We multi-task. And that's what I will be doing during my performance - a lil' multi-tasking, Bald Guy-style. Let's just hope I don't "drop the ball".

Translation: Better put the kids to bed for this one.....

Other things on the Bald Guy's mind.....

- What ever happend to Dwayne from What's Happenin'?

- Yankees sign CC Sabathia. Can't wait until we have a sequel to the Hideki Irabu/Fat Toad incident....

- So I came in from our laundry room this morning, and now I can't find my apartment/car keys. Had to use my spare set to lock up and drive to the bus stop this morning.

- Quite a month-and-a-half coming up with me and my fav girl Shannon. Visiting her on Decmeber 26-29, she then flies up to NJ and chills with me Dec 30-Jan 3. Then It's off to Vegas Jan 23-26 to celebrate our birthdays....

So in closing....

MAX + CHIPOLTE SAUCE = A BAD COMBINATION
YES....HAVE SOME
WHO TOLD YOU TO PUT THE BALM ON?

Upsets Galore

So the semi-finals of the Coyne PR Fantasy Football League are set:

(8) Mike Salzillo vs. (5) The Bald Guy
(6) Lisa Farynyk vs. (7) Crissly Lopez

Yes....All four of the higher seeds were eliminated in the first round....

Celebrity Look-Alikes

Nothing beats a celebrity look-alike and I mean that. This morning, I grabbed the last seat on the bus and when I sat down, I noticed a gentleman sitting to my right that looked like a famous relative on a hit television series.

How do you sit there and not laugh when the man sitting next to you looks like Jerry Seinfeld's Uncle Leo:

Animals....

It’s been more than six months since I made one of the greatest decisions of my entire life. Back on Memorial Day weekend, I adopted Drebin from the Friend of the Clifton Animal Shelter.

Words cannot even begin to describe the feeling when you come home from work and your little kitten is waiting by the door for you to greet him. Whether he is welcoming me home, chasing after one of his cat-nipped toys that I throw, or purring as he is falling asleep on my bed, he is such a joy.

I bring this up because there are thousands upon thousands of animals that are in shelters. All they need is a chance. All they need is a home for them to provide to you their universal love. Open up your heart…open up your home. I did. And I know one little creature who is happy I did…

No Words....

One of the funniest bits ever caught on camera........

How Are You Today?

So the bald guy spent this weekend bed-ridden thanks to a nasty stomach virus. I won't get into too many specifics, but let's just say I spent a good portion of time in my bathroom....

So this morning I run out to pick up some more Pepto (the lone purchase I may add) and the cashier asks: "How Are You today"

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Lady - Im buying Pepto Fucking Bismol. HOW DO YOU THINK I'M FEELING.....

Coaches Rants

I absolutely love it when coaches go off in press conferences. I really do. They do it for different reasons - moronic questions from reporters, defending a player, motivation, name it.

Nothing cracks me up more when a memorable soundbite is born from a post-game press conference. There have been hundreds, however, here are my top five...

Enjoy....

No. 5 (Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy) - "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40"
I actually enjoyed this more so for Gundy defending his QB Bobby Reid, who Daily Oklahoman columnist Jenni Carlson trashed in her column the morning of the Cowboys game vs. Texas Tech. Always brings a tear to the Bald Guy's eye seeing coaches defend their players - even if it is a little extreme.

(Side note) - Oklahoma State WON this game. Imagine if they lost.



No. 4 (Indiana Head Basketball Coach Bobby Knight) - This isn't so much a tirade as Gundy's or the other three below. This is just Knight being Knight - a complete a$$hole (though hysterical at times in this instance when asked about guard Damon Bailey).



No. 3 (New Orleans Saints Head Coach Jim Mora) - You don't see this rant very often, but it planted the seed for Mora's most memorable performance. Diddley Poo?!?!?!?!



No. 2 (Michigan Women's Head Basketball Coach) Kevin Borseth - The intro alone puts him here period....



No. 1 (Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Jim Mora) - One word sums this up. You figure it out...



Honorable mention: Herm Edwards "You Play To Win The Game", Mike Ditka "Talk To The Trainer - NEXT", Dennis Green "They Are Who We Thought They Were"...

Until next time, the P.R. Stud signing out.

So.....................

I've blogged quite a bit on the ol' Myspace, but since Myspace bores the living shit out of me, I felt it was time to take it to the next level.

I'll be writing about anything and everything that makes me think....The economy, The Dallas Cowboys, what a waste of time reality television is, training for the Ironman World Championship, my cat Drebin, Frank Drebin, etc....

So welcome to my Blog biatches....Sit back, buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride....

The P.R. Stud....