Thoughts From The Bald Guy...

Moving....

2009-06-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when you ask me to help you move. Artifacts that have been passed down from generation to generation get destroyed - as a result of me driving over them....

Oops...

40....

2009-06-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Eight days from now my oldest sister Amy turns the big 40. Amazing. I still recall the fun times growing up in Montvale with our other sister Julie. The pranks and jokes we used to play on each other were nothing short of legendary.

Amy continues to amaze me despite the hardships and tragedies that have encountered our lives over the past dozen years. Yet, there is always a smile on her face and her four children are so beautiful and healthy.

Happy early b-day big sis...

A Little Trash Talking.....

2009-06-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

never hurt anybody - except this little kid.

The Legend Of Deke

2009-04-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

It saddens me every time an athlete who I have such high praise and respect for, decides to call it a career. What makes it even more heart-breaking is that the final image of this player is that of him being carried off the court after suffering a serious injury.

Thus is this case with NBA center Dikembe Mutombo. Here is a guy, who in my opinion, is a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame. Teams had to adjust their offensive game every time they played against him because he was such a force in the middle with his defense, rebounding and his shot-blocking ability. His finger-waving after a shot-block became as much a symbol to the league as Michael Jordan’s tongue everytime he drove to the basket.

What made Mutombo a remarkable human being though were his countless hours and time he devoted to helping others.

Following is from Wikipedia:
A well-known humanitarian, Mutombo started the Dikembe Mutombo Foundation to improve living conditions in his native Democratic Republic of Congo in 1997. His efforts earned him the NBA's humanitarian award in 2001. For his feats, The Sporting News named him as one of the "Good Guys in Sports" in 1999 and 2000, and in 1999, he was elected as one of 20 winners of the President's Service Awards, the nation's highest honor for volunteer service. In 2004, he also participated in the Basketball Without Borders NBA program, where NBA stars like Shawn Bradley, Malik Rose and DeSagana Diop toured Africa to spread the word about basketball and to improve the infrastructure. He also paid for uniforms and expenses for the Zaire women's basketball team during the 1996 Centennial Olympic Games in Atlanta.[2] Mutombo is a spokesman for the international relief agency, CARE (relief) and is the first Youth Emissary for the United Nations Development Program.
In honor of his humanitarianism, Mutombo was invited to President George W. Bush's 2007 State of the Union Address and was referred to as a "son of the Congo" by the President in his speech, Mutombo later said, "My heart was full of joy. I didn't know the President was going to say such great remarks."

A little Deke footage:

Twice As Good Looking....

2009-03-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hello Hello...

So the bald guy had quite a time at the Coyne PR Morristown bar crawl this weekend. For someone who rarely consumes alcohol, I felt this was the perfect time to cut loose, down a few, enjoy a shot and just be a complete and utter tool. (Then again, when am I not right?)

ANYYYYYYYYYYYYYYWWWWHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Four beers in, I thought to myself, “You know what, I’m good looking on the front side. Let me be twice as stunning." So Gramuglia’s girlfriend Honora went to work with a purple sharpie.

Her finished product. Yay.

Why I Love College Basketball......

2009-03-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Example 472 of why college basketball has become my favorite sport…

Six Days & Counting....

2009-03-02T20:44:00.000-08:00

Six days into lent and I have not had even one sip of Pepsi. NICE...

Time for bed. Yay.

Job Opening: Copy Editor

2009-03-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

Clearly after reading this Pete Prisco blog on CBSSports.com, it's painfully obvious the website is in dire need of a copy editor.

How many typos/grammatical errors can you find in this blog entry? I found six.

***I coped and pasted this from the website.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh went on the defensive recently agianst the tide of negative thinking against him as a perpective free agent.

Houshmandzadeh told Benals.com that he would show all the doubters that he was a much better player than many expected. He aslo said he was 31, but had a body of a 27-year-old.

I am one of those doubters. The Seahawks are not.

Seattle signed Houshmandzadeh to a five-year, $40 million deal with $15 million in guaranteed money. That's No. 1 receiver money, and thus lies the problem.

Can you No. 1 receiver be a guy who averaged 9.8 yards per catch last season? I think not. Seattle paid a lot of money for a No. 2 receiver.

Sorry, T.J. That's what you are.

That's why I still think the Seahawks will take a close look at Texas Tech receiver Michael Crabtree in the first round of the draft with the fourth overall pick. He would be the No. 1 and Houshmandzadeh the No. 2.

The Seahawks better hope this isn't a case of a second receiver on one team not living up to the hype on another. We've seen that before from the likes of Alvin Harper and others.

The truth hurts players. That's why T.J. went on the defensive. At least now he can do it with a fat paycheck.

Bye Bye Emmitt

2009-02-21T11:08:00.000-08:00

So the suits at ESPN have decided that NFL all-time leading rusher Emmitt Smith will not return for a third season as an NFL analyst.

Maybe this will be a lesson for any television executive who thinks that just because you decide to bring in an A-Level athlete, he/she will work out. How many times have we seen NFL legends try a second career in television and fail? Hmmm...Marcus Allen, Ronnie Lott, George Seifert to name a few...

Add the former Cowboy great to that list.

Have any of you ever listend to Emmitt speak? Seriously. Take a listen and decide for yourself.

Nobody Is Safe....

2009-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

Not even mascots....How bad is it for the Milwaukee Bucks? Well, their top two players Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut are on the injured list.

Well, add Bango to that list.....With a torn ACL.

Fashion Thoughts From The Bald Guy

2009-02-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

The bald guy has a confession to make - I have been known to look pretty fu**ing handsome at times - especially when it comes to wearing nice threads. When I am not sporting the jeans and t-shirt, Maxer does like to don a nice shirt and tie.

And having worked at a Gap for a number of months (thanks to my sister Julie for hooking me up), I know what's in - and what isn't.

Ladies and gentlemen, an example of what should be burned and buried.

Mistakes In Telelvision.....

2009-02-05T07:13:00.000-08:00

The bald guy used to work in telvision, so he always has his eyes and ears open. This may be the most embarrassing mistake I have ever seen on a newscast.

Farewell To Bush....

2009-02-04T06:51:00.000-08:00

Looking at these clips, I kind of miss the guy already.

Cheaters Never Win...

2009-02-04T06:46:00.001-08:00

An oldie but goodie. I absolutely love this clip.

Eye On The Ball....

2009-01-22T12:38:00.000-08:00

Ever hear the saying - "Keep your eye on the ball?"

Well of course you did silly. Everyone has...

Except this little rugrat....

NJ

2009-01-16T09:00:00.001-08:00

At this very moment, I am sitting in the automotive wing at work next to Perri, Gulish, Gramuglia, Centinaro and Testa...And I cannot stop laughing - they sure know how to accomodate their friends from NY.

Nice...

Hypocracy At Its Finest.....

2009-01-12T10:52:00.001-08:00

So in Wednesday's NY Daily News, football columnist Gary Myers writes a story entitled: "Believe me, Eagles won't beat the Giants on Sunday"

Here are a couple of notes in that story -

"Giants 23, Eagles 13."
"It should be noted that last year, right here in your Daily News, I not only predicted each of the Giants' four playoff victories, including the huge upset of the Patriots in the Super Bowl, but had the margin of victory just about on the nose each week. Just wanted to point that out."

So Philly defeats NY 23-11. And in today's edition, Gary Myers' story today sums up Giants head Coach Tom Coughlin and how he was not able to perform miracles this postseason.

Well that's all fine and dandy.

But do you think the egomaniacal Myers would even acknowledge his incorrect prediction?

Of course not.

Hypocracy At Its Finest.....

Ups & Downs of 2008

2009-01-10T07:49:00.000-08:00

Wow, already into 2009. Unreal.

2008 was an eventful year - by far the most tumultuous ever. Here's a quick recap.

January 2008 -
- Inform my previous agency that I was burned out and I was resigning...
- Drive back from Charlotte and notice my deadbeat tenant, who was renting out my condo, hadn't moved out (I call my lawyer the next day).

February 2008 -
- My worst nightmare comes true - Giants win Super Bowl...
- Move into a rag of an apartment in West Paterson....
- Land a job of a lifetime at Coyne Public Relations...

March 2008 -
- Take my tenant to court. Judge orders her she needs to be out June 1...
- My aunt Toni passes away from bladder cancer...

April 2008 -
- April 15, I am selected to compete in the 2008 Ford Ironman World Championhip (A dream of mine for the previous seven years)

May 2008 -
- Move back into my condo as tenant FINALLY secures another condo/landlord to try and screw over...
- I adopt a tuxedo kitten from a local shelter....And as I am writing this, he jumps up on my desk and walks in front of me. I name him "Drebin" after Lt. Frank Drebin from The Naked Gun...

June 2008 -
- My beloved Celtics win NBA championship...

July 2008 -
- Complete the Ford Ironman Providence 70.3 Triathlon, validating my World Championship slot until........................(See September)

August 2008 -
- My sister Julie gives birth to her third child (first boy). Max is now an uncle of seven - like rabbits I tell ya.

September 2008 -
- Uncle George (Toni's husband) passes away - from bladder cancer....No words..
- I crash during a cycling ride down in Rumson - suffering a severe laceration and contusion to my left hand. 20 stitches and 2 novocane shots later, doctor informs me I have to withdraw from Ironman.

October 2008 -
- Shannon visits from NC - leading to a weekend of: A Halloween party, trip to Atlantic City, Cowboys/Giants, all-day trip into NYC. To sum up - An amazing weekend....

November 2008 -
- I sense a Dallas Cowboys collapse coming....

December 2008 -
- Christmas with my family...
- NYE with Shannon in Times Square...
- Dallas is horrible...
- Max finally finds peace with himself.....

Happy 2009 everyone....

Clowns.....

2009-01-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

Always had mixed feelings about clowns....Now I am convinced. I am scared to death of them....

Thanks to this man - "Crazy" Joe Davola...

Roll the footage Maestro:

SNL...

2009-01-06T06:28:00.000-08:00

Growing up in the 80's, I became a huge Saturday Night Live (SNL) fan until several of the personalities left the show to pursue movie/sitcom careers....

I'd say I have not watched an episode of SNL in over 10 years.

However this recent bit may be their most creative one ever....

CNN/Maxisms

2009-01-05T11:12:00.000-08:00

Not sure Kathy Griffin will be back to co-host a NYE special with Anderson Cooper after this little exchange...

To close:

ERIC MANGINI + FIRED = WHO CARES
WHO'S HIGH PITCH?
I AM A COYNE PR FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPION - AND YOU ARE NOT
CAPS LOCK
VEGAS HERE I COME
STEVE WILSON PLEASE CALL 275
HAPPY 2009 TO EACH OF YOU

Of Course.....

2008-12-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

I had to post a Christmas Vacation clip before the 25th....

I can't find the entire dinner table scene anywhere, but this ranks right up there...

Lame

2008-12-22T09:58:00.000-08:00

Can the NFL be any more lame?

You're going to penalize a guy 15 yards for...

Making a snow angel?

Are you kidding me?

Where is the fun in this godforsaken league? Jesus....

A guy grabs his crotch (Fred Lane), takes out a sharpie (Terrell Owens), makes a mooning gesture (Randy Moss), yes.....Penalize them...

Not for a god damn snow angel.

It's Official...

2008-12-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

In their very first season of the Coyne PR Fantasy Football League, Stiffler's Mom, led by GM extroadinaire Max DeFilippis, captured the coveted championship downing Crissy Lopez's "Dick Gazinya" squad, 92-61.

More on this glorious win, as well as details on the tickertape parade, in my 2008 recap coming soon.

Slow Walkers....

2008-12-18T06:42:00.001-08:00

I hate'em...

Last Minute Gift Idea....

2008-12-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

My friend Justin posted this image on our fantasty football site - and I couldn't resist.

If any of you need a last minute gift for a child, niece, nephew or even for yourself to post in your office (and most likely to get terminated immediately afterwards), here's an idea:

Bandwagoners....

2008-12-15T08:33:00.000-08:00

I truly cannot help but laugh every time I log onto Facebook and read status updates about the New York Giants and their “fans” – oh yeah. Joey “is gonna watch the Giants kick ass today”. Martha “go big blue”. So on and so on.

Yet – I find it even more hysterical when a team starts shitting to bed like the Giants are, these supposed “fans” hide under a rock and don’t come out until something positive happens.

I’ve rooted for Dallas for 25 years. Always supported the team even thru the 88-89 campaigns when they went a combined 4-28.

These past two weeks I have not seen a Giants fan come out and say – Agnes is “hoping they can snap the funk”…..

And not once have I received congratulations for my team beating the defending champs – whereas I will be the first person to offer kudos to all Giants fan everythime they beat Dallas.

Have I mentioned how much I hate bandwagoners?

Pathetic….

Other thoughts on the Bald guy’s mind…

***Matt Cassell throws 4 TD passes just hours after his dad passes away – The NFL needs more people like Matt Cassell
***Saw an episode of Three’s Company this weekend….Norman Fell (Stanley Roper) is one of the most underrated comedic actors in sitcom history
***Did you know honeybees are the only insects that create a form of food for humans?

To close:

I ATE EIGHTH FLOOR PINEAPPLE THIS MORNING – WHAT DID YOU EAT?
MENTOS – THE FRESH MAKER
I DON’T LOOK AS DUMB AS I AM
CTRL ALT DELETE

This And That....

2008-12-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

- One week from tonight is the Coyne PR Christmas Party - and for the first time ever, a talent show will rock the Hyatt in Morristown. This basically involveS Coyne staffers getting up in front of the entire company and showcasing any hidden talents they may have.

I am officially on board. One thing about us publicists. We multi-task. And that's what I will be doing during my performance - a lil' multi-tasking, Bald Guy-style. Let's just hope I don't "drop the ball".

Translation: Better put the kids to bed for this one.....

Other things on the Bald Guy's mind.....

- What ever happend to Dwayne from What's Happenin'?

- Yankees sign CC Sabathia. Can't wait until we have a sequel to the Hideki Irabu/Fat Toad incident....

- So I came in from our laundry room this morning, and now I can't find my apartment/car keys. Had to use my spare set to lock up and drive to the bus stop this morning.

- Quite a month-and-a-half coming up with me and my fav girl Shannon. Visiting her on Decmeber 26-29, she then flies up to NJ and chills with me Dec 30-Jan 3. Then It's off to Vegas Jan 23-26 to celebrate our birthdays....

So in closing....

MAX + CHIPOLTE SAUCE = A BAD COMBINATION
YES....HAVE SOME
WHO TOLD YOU TO PUT THE BALM ON?

Upsets Galore

2008-12-09T07:58:00.000-08:00

So the semi-finals of the Coyne PR Fantasy Football League are set:

(8) Mike Salzillo vs. (5) The Bald Guy
(6) Lisa Farynyk vs. (7) Crissly Lopez

Yes....All four of the higher seeds were eliminated in the first round....

Celebrity Look-Alikes

2008-12-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

Nothing beats a celebrity look-alike and I mean that. This morning, I grabbed the last seat on the bus and when I sat down, I noticed a gentleman sitting to my right that looked like a famous relative on a hit television series.

How do you sit there and not laugh when the man sitting next to you looks like Jerry Seinfeld's Uncle Leo:

Animals....

2008-12-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

It’s been more than six months since I made one of the greatest decisions of my entire life. Back on Memorial Day weekend, I adopted Drebin from the Friend of the Clifton Animal Shelter.

Words cannot even begin to describe the feeling when you come home from work and your little kitten is waiting by the door for you to greet him. Whether he is welcoming me home, chasing after one of his cat-nipped toys that I throw, or purring as he is falling asleep on my bed, he is such a joy.

I bring this up because there are thousands upon thousands of animals that are in shelters. All they need is a chance. All they need is a home for them to provide to you their universal love. Open up your heart…open up your home. I did. And I know one little creature who is happy I did…

No Words....

2008-12-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

One of the funniest bits ever caught on camera........

How Are You Today?

2008-11-24T13:00:00.001-08:00

So the bald guy spent this weekend bed-ridden thanks to a nasty stomach virus. I won't get into too many specifics, but let's just say I spent a good portion of time in my bathroom....

So this morning I run out to pick up some more Pepto (the lone purchase I may add) and the cashier asks: "How Are You today"

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Lady - Im buying Pepto Fucking Bismol. HOW DO YOU THINK I'M FEELING.....

Coaches Rants

2008-11-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love it when coaches go off in press conferences. I really do. They do it for different reasons - moronic questions from reporters, defending a player, motivation, name it.

Nothing cracks me up more when a memorable soundbite is born from a post-game press conference. There have been hundreds, however, here are my top five...

Enjoy....

No. 5 (Oklahoma State Head Coach Mike Gundy) - "Come after me. I'm a man. I'm 40"
I actually enjoyed this more so for Gundy defending his QB Bobby Reid, who Daily Oklahoman columnist Jenni Carlson trashed in her column the morning of the Cowboys game vs. Texas Tech. Always brings a tear to the Bald Guy's eye seeing coaches defend their players - even if it is a little extreme.

(Side note) - Oklahoma State WON this game. Imagine if they lost.

No. 4 (Indiana Head Basketball Coach Bobby Knight) - This isn't so much a tirade as Gundy's or the other three below. This is just Knight being Knight - a complete a$$hole (though hysterical at times in this instance when asked about guard Damon Bailey).

No. 3 (New Orleans Saints Head Coach Jim Mora) - You don't see this rant very often, but it planted the seed for Mora's most memorable performance. Diddley Poo?!?!?!?!

No. 2 (Michigan Women's Head Basketball Coach) Kevin Borseth - The intro alone puts him here period....

No. 1 (Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Jim Mora) - One word sums this up. You figure it out...

Honorable mention: Herm Edwards "You Play To Win The Game", Mike Ditka "Talk To The Trainer - NEXT", Dennis Green "They Are Who We Thought They Were"...

Until next time, the P.R. Stud signing out.

So.....................

2008-11-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

I've blogged quite a bit on the ol' Myspace, but since Myspace bores the living shit out of me, I felt it was time to take it to the next level.

I'll be writing about anything and everything that makes me think....The economy, The Dallas Cowboys, what a waste of time reality television is, training for the Ironman World Championship, my cat Drebin, Frank Drebin, etc....

So welcome to my Blog biatches....Sit back, buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride....

The P.R. Stud....